Oscar Wilde once said “ In this world there are only two tragedies. One is Not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. The last is the real tragedy.”
Let me dare to take it a step further by saying that, To me the biggest tragedy is not knowing how to get something you want. While people spend their entire lives dreaming about accomplishing their dreams, they spend the least amount of time focusing on developing habits that will get them there. They meet successful people, they follow their strategies, they get impressed by how a successful person lives, what he drives, how he travels, how he speaks, how he carries himself, they ask him about his difficult and struggling times but NEVER do they stop to ask that successful person as to what he or she did before they decided to get onto the road to success. What qualities did they develop that helped them face all the difficulties and rejection on their journey? How were the able to take all the rejections that come with the moment you make the decision to change your life for the better. You need to develop certain qualities Before you even begin to dream about being successful. You don’t prepare for War while you are fighting. You prepare when there is no war. You prepare in peaceful times. You prepare when you have a chance to make a mistake or two because you will not have that luxury while in the battlefields.
You need to train your mind more in the battle of success than to train your body. Because giving up on something comes as an idea first in your mind. You give up in your mind first before you give up in the physical world. And not giving up is the first prerequisite to succeeding. Just like you make room for new furniture by throwing out the old one, the same way you need to make room for positive thoughts y getting rid of the negative ones in your mind. Constantly thinking about What you want instead of What you Don’t Want is the first step you can take. Only think about what you want your life to become. Do not think about what will go wrong. Prepare yourself in your mind for how to handle what might go wrong and embrace it with a smile like it’s no big deal and have the confidence to tackle it with success. Never create What if scenarios in your mind. Never think about What if this goes wrong or that Goes wrong. That’s a defeating attitude. Instead think about what will go Right when you achieve your goal. Think about the rewards of your success. Think about all the positivity that will come into your life once you accomplish your goals. Think about how many lives you can change with positivity once you have reached your destination. You are what you think so if you want to become successful then you need to think like a successful person. A successful person does not panic by creating what if scenarios in his mind. Have you ever seen a leader panic under pressure? The more pressure you start to take with grace the easier it becomes to turn that pressure into pleasure to handle. And there is nothing like the feeling of handling pressure successfully. Once you get into the habit of handling pressure with positivity, you have won 80 percent of your battles. The only thing that will separate you from others is your ability to perceive situations and handle them positively. When you are crossing the road, every oncoming car is not out to run you over. If you think that, you will never dare to even attempt to cross the road and crossing the road is the prerequisite to starting your journey on the other side of the street, metaphorically.
I have met so many successful people, famous and otherwise, and if there was one quality, I would put on top amongst all these people, it would be
1. Smile with Energy
I have yet to meet a grouchy person who is truly successful. People full of anger and resentment and negativity might be able to accidently make SOME MONEY in their lives, but they can never be successful in the long run. They can never achieve true success. Success is an attitude and a bad attitude cannot bring success. Beam with positivity all day long. SMILE. Greet people with a positive and welcoming attitude. Get up early in the morning. Get to the office smiling. Smile is such a phenomenal physical attribute given to us by God that it is simply magical. Smiling is your birth right. If I ask you to smile while you are reading this, you can do it in a second. If I ask you to cry with tears while reading this, chances are that you will start smiling at my silly suggestion. So realize that smiling not only relaxes your mind but it relaxes others around you. Your team gets relaxed. Your meetings get happier. Your friends like you better. Even at times, your enemies might mellow down looking at you smile. But this has to be done with your Gut. You can not fake a smile because a fake smile is worse than a real cry. People will sense a fake smile from miles away. You can only smile with confidence when you are happy and at peace with yourself. Bring that peace within to exude peace and happiness without.
2. Replace Stress with Optimism.
Instead of spending time thinking about the consequences of things that can go wrong think about the fruits of when things go right. We already live in a very stressful situation, specially in Pakistan. With bombs blasting, terrorism being rampant, economic situation dire, political leaders constantly breaking their promises, Yes, it is very difficult to not be stressed in conditions like such. But success does not come without a price. And success does not come without first practicing to be successful in your mind. Success is a product and the factory where this product is manufactured is your Mind. Keep your factory running under perfect conditions and chances are that you will have a perfect product. Yes, there will be times when the machinery in your factory breaks down, so what, you don’t abandon your factory and walk out, you fix it and get it running again. Get to know your machinery (Your Mind) by spending time with it. This means get to know your thoughts, your thoughts are your machinery. Keep your thoughts POSITIVE. Whatever we perceive about our lives we choose to become that so, choose success in your mind.
3. Thank Allah If You Fail….
You might be shocked that first I preach that you be successful and in the same breath I am asking you to Fail. Yes, I am doing that. FAIL because failure is another stepping stone towards success. Do not ever be afraid of failing. People who are afraid to Fail are in actuality afraid of success. They do not want to take the first step towards success because they know that after failure always comes success. So, in reality people who do not attempt to succeed are the people who are avoiding success because success is much more difficult to handle at times than failure. Success requires a constant positive attitude. It requires you to break the Status Quo. It requires you to Always be out of your Comfort Zone. It demands from you to be a leader with the ability to solve problems, With a Smile. Most of the innovation of this world were first met with failures. Nobody gets it right the first time or even the first few times. There were apples falling for millions of years while people were sitting under the tree enjoying the weather until one day one man noticed that why is it falling in his direction and not going in the opposite direction and BAM…. He discovered gravity. The mother of all discoveries in my opinion. His work just began after that instant realization as to how to apply his new found discovery to real life. He faced failures upon failures. Ridicule upon ridicule from people, but it is because of him not giving up that you and I are able to travel by plane defying gravity, cross bridges over seas, build sky scrapers that take your breath away…. And the list goes on. So, fail … because Failure is the tribute to success.
4. Abandon Your Old Beliefs
You can never succeed if you have been thinking the same way that you have thought all your life. Its like the example I gave you above of people sitting under the tree for millions of years and looking at the apple fall only waiting to see if its ripe enough to eat or not. Never paying attention on the cause of the fall. I am not saying that will be able to change the world by changing your perspective the very next day But I can assure you that you will change your perspective and the world around you WILL change for the better. Look at things with an open mind. An open mind is like a door to a beautiful house where you can invite success as your guest. If the door is closed, success is not the kind of a guest that knocks. I don’t believe in that old saying that opportunity knocks. No…It does not. It just passes your door and goes to the one that is open. By keeping the doors to your mind closed, you are telling success that it is not welcome in your life. Keeping an open mind includes keeping a welcoming attitude towards life and people. Just because you have had a few bad experiences in life, it does not justify that you become a closed minded person. Do not care about what the world thinks of you. Literally do not. You are not here to please the world. You are here to become a better person. Every waking hour of your life. Forget about your old beliefs that you were taught that money brings evil and problems. No it does not. Money only brings out the true nature of a human being. If you were a bad person to begin with, money only enhances those bad hidden qualities in you. Do not believe that you need to pull some wrong moves to be successful. Absolute rubbish. You don’t. Abandon your old bad beliefs that you accumulated over the years just by the virtue of Power of other People’s Suggestion. Create your own beliefs. Make up your mind once you have reached your destination. Do not give up your journey in the middle because somebody else who has given up is telling you that the road to success is full of sorrows. No it is NOT. It is the most pleasurable journey. ENJOY IT
Author: Mir Mohammad AliKhan