I remember it was in the 8th grade that i was asked to get up on the stage at a school function and deliver a small speech. The speech was written for me by the school teacher i was asked to memorize it. I was not allowed to read the speech. The more i tried to memorize it, the nervous i became thinking what if i forgot to deliver the words correctly. I had been a very confident child and speaking from my heart had come naturally to me but to memorize a speech was proving to be difficult. I got up on the stage reluctantly and the moment i got up to the microphone, i had forgotten everything. And I mean everything.
I stood there in utter silence for a few seconds. Everything was beginning to look bleak. I thought i was going to faint. People were looking at me and waiting to say something. My mind was blank. Then out of nowhere came this thought that i should just start talking. I began to talk and i did not even remember until i came off the stage and was reminded, as to what was my first sentence.
All i remember was that people had a smile on their faces. I was apparently telling them a joke. My favourite childhood joke. The very second i remember this feeling of having conquered the world. That very second was imprinted into my mind forever. I went from feeling nervous to feeling absolutely confident. As a child, of course i could not understand what that means in human behavioural terms but as a grown up i have come to understand one thing, when you are forced to face your fears, you will gain confidence. People and some books may tell you that confidence comes from repeatedly practicing something. No it does not. Confidence only comes from facing your fears.
The only thing that will hold you back from doing anything is the thought that says, you can not do it. And the only remedy for that thought is that you prove your mind wrong once by doing exactly the opposite of what your thoughts are saying. Your brain is such a powerful organ and your mind such a brilliantly manufactured processor that it will immediately remember that you have proven its thoughts wrong by facing your fear that it will never again try to put you through the same process of feeling anything less than confident. Do that one thing that scares you the most and you will see an ocean of confidence making waves in your personality. If confidence was a destination then fear is the wall that blocks your journey to your destination. There is no other way to win but to break that wall down in order for you to reach your destination.
There are always two thoughts in your mind about anything that you are about to do, one is the voice of fear which screams, if you that you will fail. And the other is the voice of confidence which whispers that, do it and you will succeed. Just because your fear based voice is screaming and is louder than your whispering voice, it does not mean that you will fail. The soothing and whispering voice is actually the real voice. The voice of your creator speaking to you through your thoughts. Believe me when i say this to you that you are braver than you think that you are. You are stronger than you think that you are. But none of it can be proven until you test it for yourself by facing your fear. You have to jump into the pool to learn to swim. Nobody in this world has ever learned to swim sitting outside the pool.
Confidence is created by constantly telling yourself in a positive manner that you are doing the right thing for your future. By believing that you are going to a much beautiful place, your future. And one more important thing, confidence does not mean arrogance. I have seen too many people in this world gaining a little confidence and thinking they are God’s gift to earth. Nobody’s is God’s gift to earth, this earth is a gift from God to us. Staying humble gives you more confidence. Not insulting others when you have the power to, gives you more confidence. Keeping your mouth shut when facing an ignorant person and treating with him patience gives you more confidence because you were born ignorant as well. Knowing more than many and not flaunting it makes you more confident. And finally leaving everything to Allah after doing your best gives you not only confidence but patience and resilience to achieve your goals.
Author: Mir Mohammad AliKhan